The Issue of Forgiveness:

Why Unforgiveness Is Blocking More Than You Realise

This teaching comes directly from our Bread Talks YouTube series, hosted by Faith Jarvis, Pastor John Powell, and Pastor Joel Dorman. Bread Talks is where we take Scripture seriously, speak honestly about the Christian life, and explore the patterns of God with humility and depth.

Today’s subject is one that makes most believers uncomfortable — not because it’s complicated, but because it’s costly.

A Necessary but Uncomfortable Conversation

It is one of the most common, most destructive, and most spiritually limiting issues in the Church. It hides in the corners of our hearts, disguises itself as “hurt,” “discernment,” or “boundaries,” and quietly poisons our worship, our relationships, and our spiritual authority.

Jesus spoke about it plainly. Paul reinforced it strongly. The tabernacle pattern reveals it clearly.

And yet many Christians still treat unforgiveness as optional.

It isn’t.

Jesus Didn’t Suggest Forgiveness — He Commanded It

We begin with the Lord’s Prayer in Matthew 6 — not as an Old Covenant relic, but as a New Covenant pattern Jesus Himself told us to pray.

“Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

Then Jesus adds a commentary — a rare moment where He explains His own prayer:

“If you forgive others… your Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive… neither will your Father forgive you.”

This is not about salvation. This is not about the nature of sin (which was dealt with at the cross). This is about trespasses — the small offences, the relational fractures, the resentments, the grudges, the “little foxes” that spoil the vine.

Jesus is saying:

“You set the pace. You determine the measure. You choose the atmosphere you live in.”

Forgiveness is not optional. It is alignment.

Forgiveness Is Not About Them — It’s About You

Many believers protest:

• “You don’t know what they did.”

• “You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

• “They don’t deserve forgiveness.”

• “They haven’t apologised.”

  
  

John responds with compassion and clarity:

“You don’t know what I’ve been through either. But there is One who suffered more than all of us — Jesus.”

Forgiveness is not about excusing behaviour. It is not about reconciliation. It is not about pretending nothing happened.

Forgiveness is about letting go of resentment so that you can be free.

Unforgiveness Creates a Spiritual Debt

Jesus uses the language of debts and debtors.

Paul uses the same language:

“I am in debt to all to preach the gospel.”

When you refuse to forgive, you create a spiritual debt — not for them, but for yourself.

You hold something you were never meant to carry.

You bind yourself to the offence.

You tie your soul to the wound.

You block the flow of grace.

Unforgiveness is not a spiritual position.

It is a spiritual prison.

The Tabernacle Pattern Reveals the Cost of Unforgiveness

If you’ve followed the Tabernacle series, you’ll know the pattern:

1. The Altar of Sacrifice — the cross

2. The Bronze Laver — cleansing, reflection, forgiveness

3. The Holy Place — worship, revelation, communion

4. The Holy of Holies — the presence of God

   
   

Forgiveness sits between the cross and the spiritual realm.

You cannot bypass it.

The priest could not enter the Holy Place with blood on his garments or dirt on his hands. He had to wash at the laver — a place of reflection.

When you look into the laver, you are meant to see:

“Am I reflecting Christ?”

If you refuse to forgive, you stop at the laver. You cannot move into the deeper things of the Spirit.

This is why:

• prophetic gifts become distorted

• discernment becomes suspicion

• worship feels blocked

• revelation feels dim

• spiritual authority feels weak

Unforgiveness blinds you in the very realm you think you’re operating in.

You Cannot Be Sharp in the Spirit and Bitter in the Soul

Many believers claim:

• “I have great discernment.”

• “I’m prophetic.”

• “I see things others don’t.”

But if they harbour unforgiveness, resentment, or bitterness, Jesus says:

“I never knew you.”

Not because they weren’t gifted — but because their character did not reflect Him.

The gifts operated. The heart did not.

Unforgiveness creates a blind side in the spirit. You can prophesy accurately and still be spiritually unhealthy. You can minister powerfully and still be spiritually immature.

The laver exposes this.

Forgiveness Does Not Mean Endless Conversations

Faith raises an important point:

“You are not responsible for how the other person responds.”

Forgiveness is not:

• endless meetings

• rehashing the past

• trying to fix everything

• allowing manipulation

• letting Leviathan to twist every conversation

  
  

Forgiveness is:

“I release you. I hold nothing against you. I am free.”

Some relationships will never be restored. Some people will never apologise. Some situations will never be resolved.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness is release.

Jacob’s Wells — A Picture of How to Move On

Joel brings in a beautiful Old Testament picture: Jacob’s wells.

Jacob re‑digs three wells:

1. The Well of Argument

People saying: “It’s mine. I’m right. You’re wrong.” No dialogue. No openness. Jacob moves on.

2. The Well of Contention

People saying: “I don’t like how you do it. I think my way is better.” Constant friction. Jacob moves on.

3. The Well of Rehoboth — The Wide Place

A place of room. A place of peace. A place of freedom. A place where both can flourish.

Forgiveness moves you from:

Argument → Contention → Rehoboth.

Unforgiveness keeps you stuck at the first two wells.

Forgiveness Is the Only Way to Grow Into Christlikeness

Paul says:

“Do not grieve the Holy Spirit.” “Forgive one another readily and freely, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Forgiveness is not a feeling. Forgiveness is obedience.

Forgiveness is not weakness. Forgiveness is strength.

Forgiveness is not optional. Forgiveness is Christlike.

When the believers in Antioch were first called Christians, it wasn’t because they preached well — it was because they lived like Christ.

And Christ forgave.

The Cross Is Not Just Salvation — It Is a Pattern

Jesus said:

“Pick up your cross and follow Me.”

Not your bed. Not your comfort. Not your justification.

Your cross.

The cross is where:

• flesh dies

• pride dies

• resentment dies

• entitlement dies

• bitterness dies

Forgiveness is crucifixion. Forgiveness is resurrection. Forgiveness is freedom.

Final Word — Let It Go So You Can Move On

Unforgiveness is not a small issue. It is not a personality quirk. It is not a justified response.

It is a spiritual blockage.

It stops you at the laver. It blinds you in the spirit. It poisons your worship. It distorts your discernment. It limits your authority. It steals your joy. It keeps you from Rehoboth.

Forgiveness is not easy. But it is necessary.

Forgive — not because they deserve it, but because Christ forgave you.

Forgive — not to fix the past, but to free your future.

Forgive — not to reconcile with them, but to reconcile with Him.

Let it go. Move on.

Step into the wide place.

Step into the spiritual realm.

Step into the fullness of Christ.